update!!!

Sorry it has been so long since I have been on here to update. We lost our internet...
   I made it to 37 weeks befor I was induced due to pre eclampsia.
   I went in for my 37 week appt and my bp was high so they sent me over to the hospital to be monitored for 4 hours. Well my bp spiked to 190/120 so my ob decieded to induce me. Induction started at 9pm and my water was broke at 2am at 1 cm dialated. I was put on magnesium and potosiun to kick start labor. I waited untill I was 5 cm to get my epidural and I ended up on oxygen due to not being able to breath and an hour later my epi was in place.  Long story short my beautifull little girl was born July 6th @ 5:56pm. She was 5lbs 12 oz and 18.5 in long. She is perfect.
   I ended up being hospitlized 4 days after her birth due to heart failure caused by the pre eclampsia.. I am on blood pressure meds and am getting better slowly but surely.I have posted her newborn pics she is going on 4 weeks old now and I can't imagine my life without her in it!!
  I was told no more children so she is it for T and myself...
    Sorry if I worried anyone i just have been sick or busy to update but all is getting better now:)

I am glad to see everyone else's gorgeous babies and conrats to you all!!

my 27 week belly

I am for one not a tiny lesbo so I am proud to show off my rounded tummy but only from my view for the time being lmaoo...

27 weeks

WOW already!! Almost to my 3rd trimester and it is starting to feel all to real lmao.. I know it should of been already but with Kaylyn moving more and being able to feel it on the outside now it makes it more real... I am becoming very uncomfortable and have noticed where I am short of breath with simple tasks like making the bed or changing the sheets... I have also noticed that I can't bend the way I used to and that my boobs are becoming huge!! ( which my dw is not complaining about) but she can only look not touch because they have started to get hard and are very sore... Next week is my rhogam shot and more bloodwork and my 28 week appt then I move up to seeing him every 2 weeks untill I am 36 weeks.. I can't believe it already almost to the point of every 2 week appts... wow.. My baby shower is on the 5th and I do not have any expectations for it I am just hoping it goes well and smoothly lol.. other then that everything is well. Found out today that T gets a week on in July (unpaid) for 4th of July which adds more stress since I am not working at the moment... Gahh a baby and a week with no pay fun fun... Well off to finish my 27 th and final week of 2nd trimester. Hope everyone has a good week:)

26 weeks

Already!!! I can't believe 14 more weeks till we meet our little girl!! I am so excited and nervous at the same time. All the big questions run through your mind... Are we ready for this? Will I be a good mother? Will I be the mother I hope to be? Can I handle the birth? I guess all normal questions of first time parents... I don't go back to the Dr untill the 4th of May and then my baby shower is the 5th of May... This month winding down will be busy!!!! By the time my dr appt comes I will be entered into my 3rd trimester... Ohhh already. I am feeling fine besides the stretching pains and the back ache at the end of the day... The pic I am posting is the view of my belly from my point of view lol I hope everyone has a good week.

just some thoughts!!

So I went on a hunt looking for 2 mom baby memory books and well yes,  I found them but they were almost 80 bucks for a book when you can go to local walmart and pay 20 bucks for one?? Why are things like this so expensive?? I know that T and I are not the only same sex family bringing a child into this world?
   I get so irritated from being asked who I slept with to get pregnant? Do people not realize that there are other methods to getting pregnant besides insert PENIS into vag?? It kinda is a slap in the face for people to assume that I would lower my morals to get pregnant?!
   We have been looking into me taking T's last name that way all 3 of us have the same name and well living in Tn it can be rather difficult for me to take her last name once the explanation has been given to the judge of why I want it? So right now we are just going to name our daughter with her last name and after we move states I will take T's last name...
  You would think being 2012 that we would be a lot further in the fight for equality and it feels as if some states are making progress and some countries but other's are still stuck in the stone age..
    I love when people tell me I chose to be a lesbian! Yes, I chose to be discriminated against for who I love. I chose to be a " second class citizen", I chose to have to explain to my children why there are poeple out there that hate our life style... For me being a lesbian isn't a life style is MY life... I live it everyday.... I hate going to the OBGYN and he calls my wife my friend becuase he refuses to see that we can love each other and be good parents as two women!!
   Ok those are my rants for the day... Just got to thinking and I really need to get more involved in the non-gay community in Tn!!

25 weeks

wow only 15 more weeks to go!! I can't wait to meet our little princess!! THe meds the Dr. gave me made me feel 100% better thank goodness!!! I am showing more and more daily and it is kinda scarey!!
   Side note sex is not what I want it to be, apparently my vajj doesn't work anymore or just doesn't feel like participating in activities anymore!!! story of my life... other then that everything is going well.. Stil feel underprepared for this baby and feel like we have so many more things to get for it.. I am having a baby shower in May so maybe I feel a little more releaved when everything is said and done. I hope everyone else is odoing well...
   BTW Kaylyn is moving more and more and I have noticed that she is a night mover so I know that means that I will have plenty of sleepless nights ahead before her big arrival... I also am becoming more and more uncomfortable when trying to sleep....Gahh 15 weeks feels like forever but it does just feel like yeserday when we found out. Sorry for the spelling I am a bit tired... WEll off to bed I go hope everoyone enjoys their week:)

24 weeks

Well I am 24 weeks and 4 days.. Just got done taking meds for a respitory infection fun fun.... My next ob appointment isnt untill May 4th and I have to do my glucose check, have my rh- shot given, have blood drawn for ANOTHER  HIV test??!! and have blood drawn for my iron levels... Then my baby shower is May 5th.. the end of April and beg of May is going to be busy!!! Nothing else really going on, besides I am feeling much better after the dose of antibiodics for my respitory infection. I can't believe how close I am to my 3rd trimester already. I have noticed my tummy getting harder and it becoming more uncomfortable to sleep without a body pillow not to mention that pesky TMI extra discharge that is going on that I am told is normal during pregnancy. I am also having lower back pain and bad stretching pains and occasional braxton hicks contractions which again I am told is normal. I do feel Kaylyn moving alot more each day and its such an amazing yet weird feeling all in one. I hope everyone else is  doing well. update again next week:)

22 weeks 5 days

Peace sign

lady parts:) 3 lines equals a girl

profile and right as she snapped it the baby moved that's why she looks like an elf lol

another profile pic

Our baby theme is monkeys so this is our daughter's first personalized monkey:)

Sorry it has been a bit since I have logged on and updated everyone. I have been sick with a terrible cold. We went and had an ultrasound done yesterday March 22nd and well we found out that we are expecting a beautifull little girl in July!! I am so excited and overwhelmed with it. We have been feeing the baby move alot but because of my chunky butt Tara can't feel it on the outside yet but I def do. We have decieded to name her Kaylyn Marie after the all the women on both our sides middle names:) Kay is Tara's mother's middle name Lyn is mine and my mom's middle name and Marie is Tara's:)  I hope everyone else is well.

pics of baby stuff:)

Basinet/ pack n play monkey is the theme:)

Our crib just doesnt have any sheets yet:)

our first diaper bag

Tara's parents bought this for their first grandchild:)

almost 21 weeks already

wow.. I can't believe it!! The plus side is I have another gender scan ultrasound on the 22nd so hopefully the little booger participates!! I will be posting pics of my belly but I am waiting till I don't look fat anymore and you can see that I am for sure preggo lol..... other than that everything is good in the home front!! THings are moving along and we have a crib:) a basinet which I want to post pics of... a diaper bag and a few clothes still have a bit to get but we have some time.... Anyway I will post in a few of the pics of the crib and such and I hope everyone else is well...

19weeks

well had my gender scan last thursday and the lil booger was breach and sitting on its legs so we were not able to get it:( BUT on the plus side I did get to see my baby move around and it was amazing. Heartbeat was 143 and we saw fingers and toes... I just started my 19 th week and I can't believe it already!!! I go to the dr on friday and am looking forward to it. SInce Tara was not there for the 1 st heartbeat she was able to hear it in person on thursday at the ultrasound.. I loved the smile she had from hearing it. WE have ordered the crib, started primering the nursery and my best friend has ordered the pack and play so when they arrive and are up I will post them. I am going to post the 18 week ultrasound pics. Hope everyone else is well:)

changes!!

WEll I am glad to say that Tara goind her way back home after being gone for 2 weeks. We are working out the kinks still but we are getting there. I am almost 18 weeks preggo ALREADY and I had my appt 2 weeks ago and heard my lil beans heartbeat for the first time with my mom and it was amazing!! WE have the gender scan appointment on the 23rd and I am so excited to find out what this baby is. I am hoping the lil bugger isn't shy!! I will be 18 weeks on Monday and I am starting to get back on track for this baby and life in general. I will update with gender after the appointment> I am sorry I haven't been on here life got a little lost and crazy for me but I am getting back on track! I do have some pics to add of clothes and such that have been bought for this lil bean. WE want to start buying the big stuff but are waiting for the gender scan to pick colors. Hope all is well with everyone else!!

Tommorrow is 15 weeks.

I turn 15 weeks tomorrow. I still very broken inside and I just want to get back to my old self. I thought I knew her after 6 years I guess I didn't. ON a plus note I did some baby shopping today still feel pretty down about having to do it without my partner but I have no choice. I must be strong for this little one inside of me since my ex wife is having an early midlife crisis and decieded to up and leave state and leave her wife and child behind so she can party and fuck who ever she sees fit.. I want her home with me but I am so aftraid that she will do this again.... I truly just want to feel better either her here or me over it one of the two... and I don't think either are going to happen anytime soon. I just am lost and broken and trying to slowly pick the pieces up.. ughh. Dr. appt on Friday to hear my precious angel's heartbeat I can't wait. I just want the doctor to tell me everything is ok with my baby because I can't handle loosing both of them in a week..... Fingers crossed. I will update after Friday... Good luck to everyone.

so much for a lesbian couple's journey

I turned 14 weeks yesterday and yesterday my partner of 6 years told me that she wasn't in love with me and hasn't been since before we started tryin to have a baby.  She packed her stuff into a uhaul today and left without a tear shed. I feel so lost and broken. I don't even know where to begin to heal and start rebuilding ME. I am totaly blindsided because as far as I could see we were good. I have cried so much since yesterday that my eyes are red and my cheeks are raw. I can't begin to explain how I feel or the emotions running through me. I guess I am raising this baby by myself and that was not at all the plan but I have to make a new plan for this amazing life inside of me.

13 weeks and 2 days

OMG I can't believe it almost out of the first trimester!!!  A little stressed out started school again last Thursday and already bombarded with work!! Have 3 anatomy classes and an art appreciation and my last history class this semester.. then next semester I apply for the nursing program.. Oh man I signed up for alot!!! My next appt is on Feb 3rd and we are just listening to the heartbeat and having my Blood pressure taken. My blood pressure has been running high the last 2 times at the doc's office but I was also fighting a sinus and ear infection.. I am hoping it doesn't stay that way... My mom suffered from high blood pressure with me and my sister and so did my aunt so we will see. I will be 7 months along by the time this semester is over in May... Can't believe in 8 more weeks I will be half way there.. Wow... WE haven't bought anything new for the lil bean because we are waiting to find out the sex of the baby so we can start getting the babies rood set up..... WE should find the sex out sometime in Feb as long as (s)he participates... Other then that nothing much is going on. I have pics of my belly from Nov and we took another one beg of Jan and I can see a roundness to it but as I am a bbw I will not be sharing untill I am huge. LMAO... anyway this journey has gone fast so far hopefully it doesn't go to fast where I feel rushed and not ready... LOL I will update in a week for my oh so many readers lol....

12 weeks today!!

Can't believe I made it too 12 weeks already!! It feels like yesterday that I found out I was pregnant.... It has been 9 weeks since we found out we are expecting.... It feels unreal still and I had a breakdown about buying diapers because it didn't feel real that it is finally us!!

sooo we did some shopping today...

 the cute keepsake we found

OMG they are so little our first pack of newborn diapers!!

from left to right.. onesies, our keepsake, burp bibs, pacifiers, and the tiny diaper:)

We didn't go to crazy plus it is very hard to find very cute things in yellow, cream or green... everything is in blue or pink!!

Stubborn Baby!!

Well we went in today to hear the heartbeat and little to say the baby would not participate. THey ended up doing a vaginal ultrasound to confirm there was one and yup there it was thumping away. Dr. did not measure to see how fast it was but he did say it was fast and the baby is measuring right on time 11 weeks and 4 days... I am a little disappointed that we didn't get to hear it but we did get another pic!! WE tried to shop today but Tara doesn't like the color green so we eneded up not getting anything!! But here is our little angel!!

11 weeks 4 days only 200 more days to go..

well tomorrow we go to hear the heartbeat for the first time. My emotions are all over the place from happy and excited to very nervous that they won't be able to find it.... I also have to have a pelvic done which I don't understand why they haven't done that yet but whatever I will take the pelvic as long as the heartbeat is heard!!! I am ready to start buying but we made a pack not untill the 2nd trimester begins which sadly won't start untill week 14.. ughh.... BUt the plus is if there is a heartbeat we go back in 4 weeks to have the big scan and hopefully find the gender out.... WE are truly hoping for a girl and I will be a bit disappointed if it is a boy.. I mean what am I going to do with a boy? lol... Anyway everything is good on the home front.. I crave chinese food all the time and poor Tara hates chinese.... so she gets taco bell lol..... My morning sickness has eased up but not completly gone somedays are better then others... Still very tired and fighting an ear and sinus infection which I was put on antibiodics for yesterday so hopefully I will get some relief with this sinus pressure and constant ear ache... Everything else is good just ready to meet our bundle we have waited so long for.... Untill Monday when I turn 12 weeks.