Tommorrow is 15 weeks.

I turn 15 weeks tomorrow. I still very broken inside and I just want to get back to my old self. I thought I knew her after 6 years I guess I didn't. ON a plus note I did some baby shopping today still feel pretty down about having to do it without my partner but I have no choice. I must be strong for this little one inside of me since my ex wife is having an early midlife crisis and decieded to up and leave state and leave her wife and child behind so she can party and fuck who ever she sees fit.. I want her home with me but I am so aftraid that she will do this again.... I truly just want to feel better either her here or me over it one of the two... and I don't think either are going to happen anytime soon. I just am lost and broken and trying to slowly pick the pieces up.. ughh. Dr. appt on Friday to hear my precious angel's heartbeat I can't wait. I just want the doctor to tell me everything is ok with my baby because I can't handle loosing both of them in a week..... Fingers crossed. I will update after Friday... Good luck to everyone.